From Burnout to Balance: How Holistic Nurse Coach Kelly Dubowski Helps Nurses Heal Their Nervous Systems and Find Joy Again
If you’ve ever felt like the weight of nursing has slowly chipped away at your energy, joy, or sense of purpose — this conversation is for you.
On this week’s episode of Life After Nursing School, I sat down with Kelly Dubowski, a Holistic Nurse Coach and founder of Hope With Kelly and Nurturing the Nurse. Kelly’s mission is simple but powerful: to help nurses move through burnout, regulate their nervous systems, and rediscover peace in both work and life.
I first found Kelly on TikTok about six months ago, and her videos stopped me mid-scroll. The way she talked about burnout, not just the surface-level “take a bubble bath” kind, but the deep nervous system exhaustion that so many of us carry… felt so real and relatable. I became an instant fan.
In our conversation, we talked about everything from the courage it takes to start your first job and move across the country, to the connection between past trauma and burnout, and how to identify what kind of self-care actually serves you.
This conversation left me with chills and a lot of clarity.
Kelly’s Journey: From Boston Roots to a California Rebirth
Kelly didn’t grow up surrounded by nurses. There wasn’t a family lineage of scrubs and stethoscopes. In fact, her decision to go into nursing came from a very different place one rooted in survival and resilience.
She shared that she grew up in an environment that wasn’t always safe or supportive, and as a result, she learned how to care for others from a very young age. “I think I became a nurse long before I ever went to nursing school,” she said.
That natural tendency to nurture led her to a special program during her senior year of high school that allowed her to shadow a nurse. Watching that nurse care for sedated, intubated patients with grace and presence lit something inside her. “It was like witnessing humanity in motion,” she said. “I just knew that was what I was meant to do.”
So she applied to nursing school in Boston and like many of us, she was thrilled to begin the journey, unaware of how demanding it would be.
When Passion Meets Burnout
By her junior and senior years, the exhaustion started creeping in. Kelly described pulling all-nighters, running on adrenaline, and ignoring her own needs because that’s what everyone else around her was doing.
“I didn’t even have the language for burnout yet,” she said. “I just thought this is what nursing school feels like you hustle, you grind, you survive.”
It wasn’t until graduation that she realized something was off. She had a job offer from one of the best hospitals in Boston, but when it came time to accept it, her body said no.
“I remember feeling it like a full-body chill,” she recalled. “My mind was saying yes, this is what you’ve worked for but my body was screaming no.”
So she made a decision that changed everything: she followed that instinct and applied for her nursing license in California instead.
Taking the Leap — Literally
Kelly bought a one-way ticket to San Diego, shipped her car, and left everything familiar behind. She didn’t have a job lined up … just enough savings for a few months and a quiet confidence that she’d figure it out.
On the plane, she met a stranger who would completely change her path. He struck up a conversation and learned she was a nurse moving to San Diego. “He told me he was eight years sober and connected to several treatment centers in the area,” Kelly said. “He asked if I’d ever considered addiction nursing.”
It wasn’t something she’d planned on, especially because her father had gone through rehab when she was younger. “Part of me wanted to avoid that pain,” she admitted. “But another part of me knew it might be exactly where I was meant to be.”
Two weeks later, she had two job offers both in addiction recovery. She accepted a role at a holistic addiction center that would forever change the way she viewed nursing.
The Power of Holistic Nursing
The center wasn’t a typical hospital. It was a healing space surrounded by nature rolling hills, fresh air, and five separate houses where patients stayed for 30-day programs. Alongside medication and therapy, patients also received:
Acupuncture
Massage therapy
Meditation and breathwork
Group hikes
Personal training and yoga
Kelly said witnessing patients transform from the day they arrived to the day they left felt like watching a butterfly emerge from a cocoon. “It was healing for them, but it was healing for me too,” she said. “For the first time, I saw what true holistic care looked like which was treating the whole person, not just the diagnosis.”
That experience sparked something inside her. She realized nursing didn’t have to mean sacrificing herself. It could mean facilitating healing for others and for herself.
Burnout: The Cycle So Many Nurses Know
Even with the peaceful setting and fulfilling work, burnout slowly crept back in.
Kelly explained how the patterns she developed in nursing school overworking, people-pleasing, ignoring her body - all, followed her into her career. “You can change your environment, but if you don’t address what’s underneath the burnout, it’ll just come with you,” she said.
This is something every nurse can relate to. The hospital, the clinic, or even a “dream job” doesn’t magically fix the internal stress that comes from chronic overgiving.
At one point, Kelly found herself job-hopping, trying to escape the feeling of depletion. But the cycle always returned. That’s when she realized the missing piece: nervous system healing.
What It Really Means to Heal from Burnout
According to Kelly, burnout isn’t just mental or emotional, it’s physiological. It lives in your nervous system.
“When you’ve been running in fight-or-flight for years, your body doesn’t know how to feel safe anymore,” she explained. “Healing begins when you teach your nervous system how to rest again.”
Some of her favorite tools for doing that include:
🧘♀️ Breathwork: slowing your breathing to tell your body it’s safe
🌿 Grounding practices: like walking outside barefoot or spending time in nature
🕯️ Mindfulness moments: taking small pauses before reacting
💬 Journaling: to process emotions rather than store them
🤍 Somatic release: movement, stretching, or even shaking off tension
She emphasized that nervous system regulation doesn’t have to be fancy. “You don’t need a perfect morning routine or a week-long retreat,” she said. “It’s the little moments throughout your day where you choose calm over chaos.”
The Trauma-Burnout Connection
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was when Kelly talked about how unhealed trauma can increase a nurse’s risk of burnout.
“So many of us go into nursing because we’ve had to care for others from a young age,” she said. “That hyper-responsibility becomes part of our identity. But if we don’t heal those patterns, nursing becomes the perfect environment to relive them until our bodies say no more.”
That truth hit hard. Because how many of us were drawn to this profession for the same reason?
Recognizing that pattern isn’t about shame, it’s about awareness. Once you see it, you can start to make different choices. You can set boundaries, rest without guilt, and stop equating self-worth with productivity.
Self-Care That Actually Serves You
Kelly’s take on self-care was refreshing. She said, “Self-care isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing what actually restores you.”
Here’s what she suggests:
Audit your self-care habits. Are they helping you recharge or just keeping you busy?
Learn your “energy language.” Pay attention to what activities drain or fill your battery.
Simplify. Instead of adding more to your plate, ask what you can remove.
Nourish, don’t numb. True self-care feels grounding, not distracting.
Her reminder was simple but profound: “Healing isn’t something you check off your to-do list. It’s something you practice, every single day.”
Why Nurses Need to Stay — and Heal
Both Kelly and I share a deep passion for helping nurses stay in this profession, not just survive it.
There’s a lot of negativity online about nursing right now, and understandably so. The system is flawed, and many workplaces lack the support nurses deserve. But as Kelly put it, “We can’t control the hospital, but we can take ownership of our own well-being.”
Our goal — hers through coaching and mine through Life After Nursing School — is to create spaces where nurses can feel seen, supported, and empowered to thrive again.
Final Thoughts: Your Healing Journey Starts Here
If you’re reading this and you’ve been wondering, “Is it just me? Am I the only one who feels this way?” — you’re not.
Every nurse, at some point, faces the tension between caring for others and caring for themselves. Kelly’s story is a powerful reminder that you don’t have to choose one or the other. You can be both a nurse and a whole human being.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen. It starts with awareness, compassion, and small daily choices to slow down, breathe, and listen to your body.
As always, I’ve got one hand for me… and the other for you.
Until next time,
Caroline
PS. Want more on this topic? Listen to Life After Nursing School Podcast Episode 41